So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
