I am in a vortex of obligation.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
