You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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