I wannas sexs uuuuu
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
