your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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