dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
