You're so nebulous sometimes
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
