She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
