He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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