i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
