it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
