life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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