I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
4 words: hood of his car
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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