yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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