How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
