Nicole vs. Life
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
