I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize