But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
