I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
