What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
