Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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