you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
