Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
