I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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