This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize