just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
zippers are such a cool invention
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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