apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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