Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
