I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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