it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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