What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
