I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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