Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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