glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
