dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
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