you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
