Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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