He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
