Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
