That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize