did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
