Your dad touched me again.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
