I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
