he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Green mimosas i think yes
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
