Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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