Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
