just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
