And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize