im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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