Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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