Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
