it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
