My girlfriend figured out who you are.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
this will be a night to untag.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
