did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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