i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
