So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
