ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
