Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
