Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
