The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize
