Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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