You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
