I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
