he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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