I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
