Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
