; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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