Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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