so that wasnt chicken after all
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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