I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
