His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
as a side note pls kill me
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
