I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize