He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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