you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
