kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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